Living Someone Else's Expectation
Hi, today I am going to talk about an issue which I often see among a lot of students and a lot of time I feel so bad about it. But then they come to me under a lot of pressure of expectation. Expectation from all sides, all directions from their parents, from their teachers, from their friends for help from relatives, neighbors, from boyfriend, girlfriend, everybody has expectations from them. And sometimes, it is actually building to the extent of cracking them that is really, really very strong. Now, you have this age and I am talking to you and knowing that the kind of issues that you are dealing with. You are managing so many things at the same time. You are managing your books, you are managing your time, you are managing your resources, you are managing everything that you have got. But managing this expectation, to my understanding, is a major-major pressure that you always hold on your hand. Today I am going to talk about this EXPECTATION MANAGEMENT, expectation pressures that you have got. And this, I think a lot of time I find this from parents and relatives. A lot of time they have got their own failures, their own goals of lack of accomplishment shall we say. So all those gaps that they have got, they simply fast forward their own life and then expect the kids, expect you to, perform them. I am not complaining. What I am trying to say is that this is how the SOURCE of expectation is. Whatever I have not been able to achieve, I would expect my kids to be achieving them. In fact, shall I tell you we are just not owning our own failures? And that is why we are expecting the whole thing to get accomplished by our kids and the kids have got their own life and that is, that’s not done, that’s something which I always feel as a parent that you can’t FAST FORWARD your life and then expect your kids to deliver all what you could not deliver to your own self. Sometimes, I find these expectations are even silent. Silent expectations are even worse I would imagine and then sometimes, it generates a cycle. When I say that I have some expectation from you, you have some expectation from me and it generates a cycle of its own. And when I say a cycle of its own, I think it’s a kind of a cumulative causation. Expectation beats expectation. You expect from me, I expect back from you. And then you expect again from me and this gets a vicious cycle, a serious one actually. That is something which is very troubling and I have seen a lot of students really cracking under the pressure of expectation. I suppose I am very keen that you should take charge of your life. Your own life. And then you should not really start cracking under the pressure of expectation. I suppose I would like you to negotiate the expectation. Talk to the people. Ask those people what you want and the best way to tackle expectations is the UNDER PROMISE. Don’t promise them what you basically can’t deliver. If you give somebody something more, that’s the best way of managing your expectation. Actually, I would like to tell you that when you are leading somebody’s expectation you think that it is a kind of contract that I have signed, it’s not an agreement. Your expectation of somebody else is not your agreement. And sometimes some of you utilize this so much it starts hurting you. It starts affecting. Shall I tell you, your goal cannot be your expectation. Your control can be your expectation, not your goal. So whatever you can control is all that you have got your expectation. I suppose a beautiful life, I would like that you should be kind to your own self and then also, do not get carried by somebody’s expectation and then start ruining your day and then nights. I suppose it’s a beautiful life, take control of your own self, be realistic and my best wishes are always with you.